Nostalgia

“Awak mesti kuat. Jadikan penyakit yang awak hidapi sekarang sebagai sumber kekuatan, bukannya sebagai peluntur semangat. Dan awak mesti ingat, Allah telah jadikan bagi setiap penyakit itu penawarnya.”

“Terima kasih. Pesanan cikgu akan selalu saya pegang. Cikgu saya anggap tak ubah seperti ayah kandung saya sendiri. Saya betul takkan melupakan itu.”

“Bagus Husna. Kadangkala saya kagum dengan awak. Meskipun awak sakit, tapi semangat belajar awak luar biasa hebatnya daripada pelajar-pelajar lHusna. Malah keputusan awak juga lebih memberangsangkan berbanding mereka. Awak patut dijadikan contoh. Lantaran itu, saya selalu bercerita tentang awak kepada pelajar-pelajar saya.”

Ainul Husna seperti biasa, selalu merendah diri. Tak semua pujian ditelannya.

“Aduh, segan saya dibuatnya. Keputusan exam saya yang bagus itu semua berkat bimbingan daripada cikgu juga. Terima kasih cikgu.”

“Sama-sama. Satu lagi sikap awak yang saya gemar, awak tidak suka meninggi diri. Baguslah. Merendah diri ni suatu sikap yang mulia.”

“Seboleh-bolehnya saya tak mahu telan semua pujian. Takut pula nanti akan membuatkan saya sombong dan lupa diri.”


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Pagi-pagi lagi Husna sudah ringan tulang. Baru tadi Cikgu Suhaila meminta tolong kepadanya untuk meletakkan beg laptop dan buku teaching planner miliknya di atas meja. Langkah kaki disusun elok menuju ke bilik guru wanita, yang bersebelahan dengan bilik guru lelaki.

“Husna, masuk ke bilik saya sebentar. Ada perkara yang saya hendak bincangkan.”dengan nada tegas ditambah pula dengan mimik muka yang langsung tiada senyum, Tuan Haji Kamarudin memberikan arahan. Kebetulan pada waktu itu Husna lalu di hadapan bilik guru lelaki.

“Baiklah. Tapi, ada apa ya tuan haji?”soal Husna. Malang, soalannya sama sekali tiada jawapan. Dalam tempoh dua saat Tuan Haji Kamaruddin sudahpun berada dalam biliknya.

“Kenapa dengan tuan haji tu? Tak macam selalu pun. Apa dia marah pada aku? Tapi kesalahan apa yang dah aku buat?”

Husna merasa hairan sendiri, kerana perangai tuan haji berubah benar. Sebelum ini, asal saja terserempak dan berbual, pasti perbualan itu disusuli dengan gurauan. Tetapi kali ini tidak begitu.

“Berapa semua jumlah kos pembedahan yang awak perlukan?”beliau bertanya. Husna kini sudah berada di hadapannya.

Sementara itu kelihatan tangannya ligat menulis sesuatu diatas sekeping kertas kecil. Kertas itu pula dibawahnya dilapik dengan kertas karbon.

“Dua puluh ribu ringgit cikgu.”jawab Husna ringkas.

“Awak ambil ini.”katanya sambil menghulurkan sekeping cek. Diatasnya tertera perkataan “Dua ribu ringgit Malaysia sahaja.”

“Ini apa?”soalnya pantas. Kerut di dahinya begitu ketara, tidak sabar-sabar lagi untuk menanti penjelasan. Melihatkan itu, Tuan Haji Kamarudin tetap kelihatan tenang. Dia hanya membalas dengan senyuman.

“Itu untuk membiayai kos pembedahan awak.”

“Tapi cikgu, jumlahnya terlalu banyak. Saya tak rasa yang saya boleh terimanya. Saya tak layak.”

“Saya ikhlas. Awak ambillah wang tu. Saya rasa awak lebih memerlukannya berbanding saya. Lagipun saya takda anak. Anggap ia seperti pemberian seorang bapa kepada anaknya Ambillah...”


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Album gambar lama itu ditutup. Sedikit demi sedikit wajah idola itu lenyap dari pandangan. Namun, gambar itu hanya sekadar gambar. Sekalipun ia telah lenyap dari pandangan, namun yang paling utuh adalah nostalgia. Sejak dari hari persaraannya, telah hampir lima tahun mereka tidak bertemu. Setiap kali ditatap, nuraninya tak henti-henti berdoa semoga suatu hari nanti mereka akan dipertemukan semula. Dia percaya penuh pada Tuhan, bahawa jodoh dan pertemuan itu terletak di tanganNya.

LIFE IS A MIRACLE

Recently, I had come out with my examination result, for the first semester. And of course, this is my first time receiving my examination slip from university. To be honest, my result didn’t go very well as I’ve got ________. It was so much disappointing that I have not yet gone this very bad figure before. Previously, my matriculation pointer was even better. I can still remember it was very delightful to see my matriculation college result. Now, it was very different situation. But, there was nothing else that I can say. It was my fault too. I should not play around so much so that I could achieve more than that. I should study harder so that the scholarship will not be taken away from my account.

Gratefully, they didn’t do it until I lost all the twice opportunity. For the next semester, if I got below three for the second round, there will be no ‘biasiswa’ again. I am lucky God is willing to save me. A lot of praise I beat to Him for saving me. I truly believe that, every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe through this way, He wants to tell me that “Hey! Your facebooking activities are out of schedules! This is too much and you should stop it by now.” Or else He wants to tell me, “hey, stop laughing and joking with Miss Nina and back to study! My result will be better, if I keep focusing on my study. I guess? I truly believe that He is always willing to help me, regardless of time. Don’t despair and never lose hope, because Allah is always by our side. O Allah, I put my trust on you, and I raise my hand and pray to you. Just like Maher Zain said in his song, Insya-Allah…we will find our way.

I received my scholarship from government, almost by accident. It did happen. Allah did it. From the beginning, I did not convince enough to fill up the form, because…ah! You know what? Those types of scholarships were only exclusively prepared for genius and successful student! Such like Ding Kor Yang and Loh Ching Min. And definitely it wasn’t me. I was a foolish once as I thought that the chance of getting scholarship is very hard. I was having a very low self-esteem towards my abilities. I have not known, yet that the minima CGPA (cumulative grade point average) required are 3.46, which were mine. Because of that, I do have the effort to get the scholarship but it is only half a way.

“Girls, we have to send our copy of printed online form together with this.” said one of my friends as she pointed her finger at the notebook screen and then to her identity card.

“Okay. We will be doing it tomorrow.”

After five month of waiting;

“Congratulations to all of you girls. It must be great to receive a scholarship.”I said. But my face is a little bit gloomy.

“Thank you. How about yours? ”Zati asked.

“Yeah that’s right!” Why didn’t you receive any offer? You result is not that worse?” Miss Nina wondered.

“Actually, I did not send the form they asked. So, I might not have the chance to receive the money.”

“It’s okay. Maybe that money is for the people who need them most.”I said.

I have been going through the time with a lot of disappointment. Though it was, I keep on saying to myself that it must be a silver lining behind this cloud. It must be a lesson for me not to take a thing like this as a simple matter. If I ever send the form to the JPA’s office, I might get the scholarship too. Just like them. But the word ‘ifs’ did not working anymore. To be frank, I was jealous to them for receiving money, whenever I wasn’t. It was unfair! It was me who need the money most. Not them! They are loaded and can pay the bills. But me not!

But there is no use of saying those words. Let bygone be bygone. I slowly train myself to accept the fact that I may not as lucky as them. And I did. But one day, a miracle happens. One message received. It was from Miss Nina. I quickly unlock the keypad and read the message. It sounds like this;

“Congratulations… You’ve got the scholarship!”

See? Did I mention to you earlier that LIFE IS A MIRACLE?

Nur Tuhan

Tak terucap kepiluan ini
Titik hitam yg menghijab hati
Hitung dosa saat pergi takkan kembali
Sisa umur tidak undur lagi
Perjalanan dalam kehidupan bukan tahu ketentuan dtg
Mungkin esok takdir takkan dpt dihalang
Untung nasib digenggaman tuhan